Sunday, May 9, 2010

Easy ways to be Rich in Indiaà

Politics- (as my dictionary defines it) is the activities associated with governing a country or area.

Politics, (as we see it) is the activities associated with tapping the resources of an area for personal gain, demeaning the clause, “for the growth of our country” in all account. ‘The Opposition’ is full fledged to opposing any effort the ruling party makes to get the ball rolling. In short here we have a profession that needs no educational qualification, no experience, no real zeal towards the job and (I repeat) No real intention to work. All you need is a following (methods of gaining which will be discussed later), a fat pocket (which naturally grows proportionally to the following) and a thick skin (to take up all the shit that comes with the job).

The Following-

This is a mindless mass of people for the politician, by the politician and of the politician (all puns intended). This does bring out the colors of the Indian democracy. Now gaining such a following is no child’s play, unless you are related to a politician. Most of today’s politicians were bred to be so. They say, “Politics runs in the family”. Sorry, it doesn’t, or rather it seldom does. The following runs behind the family. And they are the ones who get manipulated the most for the growth of the ‘country’ (read- politician).

Ways to Build a Following (for yourself and your generations to come)-

Play/Try Cricket- I mean play it with the big boys, in the big league. Or just get to the big league, play a few good innings, get endorsement deals, a few guest roles in sitcoms and you have your self a fan following. Now quit cricket become a critic, first of cricket, then of the government, and then be a part of that government itself. A well tested, full proof ladder to a successful career in politics (especially in a cricket crazy country like India).

Try/Use Religion- When you live in a country with world’s second largest population, coupled with the extremes of religious diversity, religion and its exploitation could well become the trump card. Divide and rule works better when there are a lot more peoples to divide. And with people who exalt anything which has got even a faint religious orientation or reference, you can hit jackpot with a simple Halleluiah/Om/Hare Krishna….That is if you manage to stay off the hidden camera for long enough.

Use/Fake Reforms- With half of the country below the poverty line or barely scraping through, there are plenty of people you can pretend to be helping or representing. Once noticed, the flow of money is quite convenient and with a bit of tact to stay under the radar (or just paying off anyone who wanders anywhere close) you would soon gain the capital and the substantial following to start your own political party.

Lights-Camera-Action- For a country full of people sick of living their own lives the showbiz gets all applause for adding that little color in life. Cinema is the only thing that can unite the country as one, forgetting the conflicts in cast, creed or religion. The actors get idolized, worshiped. There are temples built in their names. And this fan following is almost always capitalized when the actor grows old and the so called politician comes of age. With the well toned skills of delivery and expressions he is fast to gain faith and loyalty as the leader. Good bye showbiz, hello politics (well its all the same).

One last advice, if being rich and famous is your life long dream; make sure you stay in good terms with all that you meet. For each ‘friend’, is, a potential follower and each follower can inspire new followers.

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